


“Sometimes distance is the only way to find peace.”

by alexandriaa



Category: La casa de papel | Money Heist (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Love, M/M, Obsession, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-07-16
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:47:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25093351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alexandriaa/pseuds/alexandriaa
Summary: He is an self centered eccentric egomaniac - sweet sweet sociopath.But yet Martín loved him.Because he saw what all the ladies saw in him, the good part.The part, that you don’t get to know until he decides to like you.Because he is, like the japanese call them, a tsundere. A person who, is at first rather cold or unproachable, before they show off the warmer, friendlier side.Martín loved that. It made him feel special.But he can change people he likes like his moods, meaning, very quickly indeed.And if he decides to hate you again, well, um, God bless you and good luck - you’d better run.He never changed his opinion on Martín.It would always stay the same.A person that loved him so much, and he loved him back, but never in a way Martín wished he would. He never could. It was impossible.
Relationships: Berlin | Andrés de Fonollosa/Palermo | Martín Berrote
Comments: 8
Kudos: 24





	1. Chapter 01

Andrés De Follosa & Martín Berrote

🖤one “Èsto es la imposible” 

It was a cold early-March evening in Madrid.  
Martín was anxiously sitting on his chair in his hotel room which he had booked to stay in for a night or two.  
He isnt spanish, he’s from Argentina actually, although speaks spanish fluently, but you can clearly hear his argentine accent when he speaks. He thinks it’s a little embarrassing, since he’s been speaking Spanish for more than ten years. It was not even a day ago when a cashier in a shop asked him if he’s a tourist.  
He tried to kill her with his gaze, and the cashier felt the tension in the air, so she quickly looked down on the money he was handling to her.  
He didn’t want to show the embarrassment (which quickly changed to anger anyway). He indeed gets mad easily, and really mad Martin can cause trouble.

Martín frowns at the memory. It wasn’t pleasent, and he didn’t even know why it was brought back to him. He always wanted to be a perfect leader when around people, because is an introvert, a person, who would always do whatever he wanted.  
But he didn’t have that natural power or dominance like, for example, Andrés.  
He was the reason why he was in Madrid again, actually.  
Madrid is Andrés’ hometown, where he’s lived most of his life (except for his - well, he calls it, “treasure hunting trips” all around the world).  
Martín liked Madrid. It was a nice, rich place full of party animals and loveable people like Andrés.  
Since he’s met Andrés, he liked the city even more.

The thought of Andrés made him smile.  
It feels like he hasn’t really truly smiled by the time he wasn’t in contact with him.  
He would always be busy stealing, or hooking up with random women he’d met, or killing other.  
One of them would become his wife.  
He’s been married five times, five times!  
Inbelievable.  
And Martín was present on every each one of them, watching Andrés saying “yes” to the pretty ladies, kissing them afterwards.  
But it would always end up the same. Him, getting bored of their existence, kicking them out, and these poor souls full of tears running down their faces. Andrés would always hook them up with so much money that they wouldn’t have to work for the rest of their lives.  
But it wouldn’t even cower up the debt of him missing.  
But it’s understandable.  
It’s understandable, because each time he would be listening to the ladies’ reasons why they’d marry him, he would be fantasizing about the after divorce freedom.  
Or maybe he was never capable of loving someone else except himself. Maybe it was just lust, which felt like love, but would quickly disappear.  
Each time.  
He is an self centered eccentric egomaniac - sweet sweet sociopath.  
But yet Martín loved him.  
Because he saw what all the ladies saw in him, the good part.  
The part, that you don’t get to know until he decides to like you.  
Because he is, like the japanese call them, a tsundere. A person who, is at first rather cold or unproachable, before they show off the warmer, friendlier side.  
Martín loved that. It made him feel special.  
But he can change people he likes like his moods, meaning, very quickly indeed.  
And if he decides to hate you again, well, um, God bless you and good luck - you’d better run.  
He never changed his opinion on Martín.  
It would always stay the same.  
A person that loved him so much, and he loved him back, but never in a way Martín wished he would. He never could. It was impossible.

Martín pours himself another glass of whiskey.  
He’s been drinking a lot lately, because it reminded him that he’s about to see him again very soon, and he knew it was gonna hurt this time.  
He hated that.

He’a getting emotional.  
He hated that too.  
It made him feel vulnerable and feminine.  
He really wasn’t feminine.  
In fact, he disliked women.  
The thing he’d like to say in groups was “You know why gay sex is the best? There are no women.”  
He’d always watch other people’s reaction, deciding whose to like and which not.  
Or his way of doing things with men.  
His “Boom, boom, ciao” speech was full of shit.  
Basically hooking up with one of them, and then kicking them out.  
It was cruel and inhumane.  
But he never could love them.  
His never ending love was for Andrés, Andrés only.

The thought of him reminded him the weddings.  
Well, five weddings and a funeral, as he liked to call it.  
He would always ask him: “How many times are you going to this?”  
And he would look at him, and ask: “What?”  
“This.”

He would never get an answer.  
Because Andrés knew that he knew it, and it would be too pain causing to say it out loud.  
Even after those ten years of loving him, he would never get over him.  
The love of his life could never love him back.

He wished tomorrow would never come. Because, well, it will be a goodbye meeting. The last meeting ever, breaking Martín’s heart and character completely.  
And what is once broken can never be fixed.  
But it did.

And well, he woke up with a terrible headache (just like he expected). He ate more than pills than necessary and went to the bathroom, where he washed his face. He looked fine, even after the circumstances.  
It didn’t help the fact what was about to come.  
He tried his best not to think about it. But he did, the whole day, this thought intruding him like an annoying flee.

He ate a not really healthy breakfast, but who cares, if I’ll internally die today, he thought.

He the day hanging around the streets in Madrid.  
He went to some luxury stores to buy a sweater, because he knew that Andrés is going to look tip top, in a lounge most likely, but he didn’t feel like going in that shit, he wanted to be comfy.  
He wanted to impress him.  
He was always so much into fashion, Martin would even think too much, but he respected it. He would say, “Clothes are the first thing that tells a stranger about your personality, and first slight is important.” Probably because Andrés came from a very rich family, at least three times richer than his, and well, Martín wasnt exactly poor.

Thats where Andrés got all that charming and elegance from. Apart his dad, also from the family manners. 

Besides, Andrés loved to impress strangers, he was addicted to it. 

He chose a rather loose dark dark blue sweater which would point out his whiter skin.  
He would always be white as a wall compared to tanned Andrés.

The rest of the day runned away just as quickly as he hit the bottom of a whiskey last night, until he ended up ringing the bell of Andrés’ door.  
He read the “De Follosa” on his mailbox.  
He quickly put a letter into it, which he wrote yesterday. (Luckily before he got drunk, otherwise it wouldn’t be a pretty reading) Martín hoped Andrés will read it before the final heist. 

And then he opened the door, and there he was.  
In a lounge dark black as his cat, that was nuzzling up to his legs.  
A bright smile across his face after he saw Martín.  
He wanted to smile back, but decided to give attention to the cat, because it escaped and was about it run to the dark.  
“Um, Andrés, your cat wants to escape, can I let it?”  
“It’s Cristalino, Lino for short. And yes, you can. He’s a predator like me, he has to kill.” Andrés laughs.  
Martin looks at the cat. The pair of crystal blue eyes looked at him back. He meowed, as he deminded obedience. He wanted to go.  
He quickly pat him and told him “Good luck, Lino.”

Andrés invited him with an euthaistic hug, while Martín gave him a peck on the cheek.  
Andrés purred on that. He knew he was going to do it. He always did that when they met, and an innocent peck would sometimes turn into a whole load of kissing. But that was rare.  
Even that, Martín loved that. Martín was a brilliant kisser. Way better than him. More practise and ability, he thought. 

Andrés went to the living room, Martín followed him.  
Andrés lived in a big, dark house. Martín liked that. He lived in a small mostly grey apartment in Argentina.

Martín sat down. 

Andrés walks to the kitchen and asks Martín, “What do you want to drink?”  
The thought of whiskey makes Martín want to throw up. So no whiskey.  
“Vodka.”  
“Vodka?” Berlin frowns. “Thats too party animal like. I like the russians, but, we need to something more elegant.”  
Martín would always go for the hard alcohol.  
“Elegant, like red wine.” Says Andrés, reaching for two glasses.  
Its true that Martín wouldnt like to get wasted in front of Berlín.  
That would cause trouble.

Andrés sits down as well.  
They talk, they talk a lot.  
They finish a glass.  
Andrés took a very small one, Martin did too, so it doesnt feel weird.  
Martín suggests drinking another one.  
He ignores the suggestion.  
“I actually need your help.”  
“What help?” Martín smirks, even though he knew for sure that its not what he thought of.  
“Picking out an outfit.”  
“You already have a one. And what for?”  
“You’ll see. Wait here.”  
Andrés is certain it will be for a date. A date with him. He feels getting more excited than he should.  
Andrés goes up the stairs, and he is soon back in a brown lounge.  
It suits him perfectly.  
He looks way too hot.  
He fixes his sleeves. “How do I look?” He asks.  
“Powerful.” Martín replies, with a strong gaze all over him. “Beautiful.” He adds, making Andrés smile.  
Andrés smile frozens.  
“Martín... for years, you’ve been going on around in circles, feeling this way. 

I think it’s time you’ve moved on.  
“We can move on to more wine, if you like. Shall we have a glass?”  
“No, I’m not drinking any more of that. I’m going to a dinner. With Tatiana (his wife).”  
“Right.”  
Martín feels his heart getting too heavy until its too heavy to carry.  
The betrayal.  
The disappointment.  
After all this time they meet and he decides to go with his “wife” instead.  
He feels hot again.  
But not with lust.  
With a desperate anger.  
“Does she know I’m with you?”  
“Yes, she does.”  
“That explains everything. She never wanted me to be around with you.”  
“Because its clear that you love me more than yourself.”  
“At least I know what it feels like apart from you.”  
It was supposed to be an insult, but it made Andrés smile lightly.  
“You’ll think about me, but... I won’t think about you.”

Martín’s heart skips a beat.

“You dont have to spell it out for me. It’s clear.”  
“Oh, please. Do you think I dont love you? I also feel that what we have between us is extraordinary, unique, wonderful. I know about love, I’ve been married 5 times.”  
“OK.”  
“What I’ve never told you is that... I’ve never felt anything with any of those women remotely similar to what I have with you. Not even close.”

Martín stands up.  
“You and I are soulmates.” He adds.  
Martín gets closer to Andrés.  
“But only 99%.” Andrés laughs. “As you know, I really like women.”  
His smile frozens again.  
“And you like me too much.”  
“And whats that 1% against 99%?” He asks. “Unless you’re not brave enough to say it out loud.”  
\- [ ] “That 1% is a tiny mitochondrion,” smiling again, “But it defines my desire.”  
“Mitochondrion.”

Martin gets really close to Andrés, deeply gazing into his brown eyes.  
“Where’s your desire?”

While looking at him, he feels even HOTTER. As he feels this dangerous desire crawling down his spine, he lays both his tips of fingers to the both sides of Andrés cheeks.  
“Here? Where is it?” He keeps gazing. “Dont worry. Relax.”  
Andrés smiles.  
“Dont be afraid.”

Martin looks at him with a Gaze full of love once again, until he parts their lips in one.  
He kisses him passionately.  
Andrés kisses him back.

This is all Martín has wished for.  
He grabs his neck from behind and breaks the connection. 

He looks at him passionately.  
“You’re a coward, eh?”  
He kisses him again.  
“Where is it?”  
He leans to kiss him again but he doesnt. He’s waiting for a response.  
But he doesnt get a one.  
He feels Andrés moving him against the wall. He pushes him a little more than necessary.  
He kisses him with power.  
It wasn’t really a kiss, more like a bite, the kind of that sends electricity all over your body.  
Martin enjoyes the kiss more than he should. He doesnt want this to end.  
He grabs his neck again.  
Andrés puts his hand on his cheek.  
Andrés is now the one to break it first.  
He looks deeply into his soul.  
“Look... I’d give anything to feel the same but... it’s impossible.” 

Andrés can clearly see the incredible sadness in his eyes.  
He didn’t want to hurt him.  
But he did.

Martín cries.  
He shows his vulnerable side to the person he trusted more than himslef.  
Tears were running down his cheek. It was too much to handle.

“I love you, Martín.” He looks at him. “But my brother is right, we have to part ways. And we have to scrap the plan.” He puts stress on the last sentence.  
“Your son of a bitch brother told you I loved you to break up this house. You’re going to go and make photocopies in that fucking mint. I suggested melting gold together.” Says Martin while Andrés is putting on his coat.  
“You’re hooking onto something that never existed and never will!” Berlin shouts.  
“I have to leave you. It’s... for love. For brotherhood. For the commitment I have to you. Leave and heal the wound.” He puts on his hat. 

“Sometimes distance is the only way to find peace.”

Martin breathes heavily.  
“Farewell, my friend.”  
“I’m sure that one way or another, time will bring us back together.”

He leaves.  
He leaves his own house with Martín in it.  
But frankly, he didn’t care.  
He had to go and be with Tatiana instead.  
It broke Martin’s heart.  
But it was just a drop of water compared to the ocean of pain that Martin is about to expwrimce when the heist begins.  
Andrés isnt going to make it.  
He knew that.

He pours himself a full glass of wine.  
He feels devastated.  
He cant think straight.  
His whole mind is a huge mess.  
He ruined him. Within five minutes.  
It was the painful truth.

He drinks and drinks until he hits the bottom of the bottle.  
He doesnt care.  
He wants to drown the sadness in the alcohol, but, thats also impossible.

He lays down the couch, still crying.  
He gets wasted. So so wasted that he cant walk straight.  
He cant go back to the hotel, so he stays there.  
Waiting for Andrés to come back.  
But he never did.

He ruined him.


	2. Chapter 02

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Who the fuck do you think youre talking to, one of these fools from your group? I know you well, Sergio, just by looking at you. I know what youre like. He was my friend.” He gets even closer to him.  
> “Someone indispensable to me. He was my other half. Look into my eyes, and tell me you never considered that. That, if need be, he would let himself be killed. Tell me, you hijo de puta, when thought the plan out, you never considered your brother's death.”  
> Sergio just continues staring into his eyes. He feels tears getting into his eyes  
> “Hm?”  
> “I didn’t consider my brothers death. Not once, because…”  
> Martín just stares at him unbelievably.  
> Sergio takes a deep breath. “Because… listen, Martín. He had nothing to lose.”

🤍 “él moriría de todos modos”  
Martín was back at his hotel room.  
In Madrid again, the place which only brought him the hurt.  
Its been a half an year since he saw Andrés for the last time.  
It hasn’t stopped hurting.

He feels like someone put a knife into his heart and left it in him.

Andrés died.

Martín knew he would.  
It hurt even more.  
And there is realy nothing he could do about it, after all.  
Oh yes. There is one this one thing, that he could do about it, actually.

Simply move on.

But for Martín, it wasn’t simple.  
It never is.  
Well, that depends. For Andrés, for example, it was easy. Almost natural. Maybe because he’s never had a crush lasting longer than three weeks.  
But who is Martín judge to judge, right?

Or did he?

The question was simple, yet seemed so difficult to Martín.  
Andrés was one big question mark, and it always have been like that, always.  
He was so eccentric.  
It feels like someone made the word up just for him.  
It suited him as good as his suits did.  
Perfectly.

Martín rubs his hands across his eyes and desperately tries not to cry for the fifth time this week.  
But it never works, does it?  
And yes, the reason why he was in Madrid again was also simple.  
Guess why?  
It’s obvious. Para Andrés. Él único.  
Martín has gotten tired of crying for someone who no longer exists.  
The police says they never found the body but found some stains of blood of his on a piece of clothing. They’ve also shot him several times. So they closed the invistagition and told everyone he is dead.

Was he, really?

What if he’s not, being tortured in some Asian country, the police trying to get all the info he knows outta him?  
What if what we believe is wrong?  
What is the truth and what is false?  
Martín was tired of endless questions.  
Of endless hours thinking about him, dreaming about him, about him coming back.  
But, to be honest, Martín isn’t exactly in Madrid because of Andrés. Hes here to see his brother, Sergio, who wants to tell him something so important that he can’t tell over the phone.  
He also wants him to join a heist.  
Another one.  
And Martin liked the idea of melting gold.  
It would have been better with Andrés, but he can’t change that.  
Melting gold was his idea, and he was proud of it.  
Sergio, on the other hand, was not so sure.  
He was sure about things he had came up with, but to realize and perfection other people’s ideas, he was not skilled at that and he feared it, even though the plan was already a perfection even without Sergio’s minor changes. He doubts he came up with this on his own.  
An argentine engineer, standard barbeque maker would never have the brain to come up with something like this. Who helped him?  
That was most likely the question he was never going to get an answer for, because Martín would always claim it was only his plan and get very offended, and Sergio couldn’t risk that.  
He wanted him to be in charge, he cant allow to loose him.

And there he was, knocking at his door of his hotel room in the early hours.  
Martín didn’t expect for this to happen so early. He was still in his pyjamas, lying in his bed trying to sleep.  
“Just a moment please!” He shouts at the person behind these doors desperately trying to find clothes he could put on.  
He chose black jeans and a loose black shirt.

All dark, like Andrés used to dress.  
Although Andrés looked veery good in it, his caramel skin woud go along with it, Martín’s white skin didn’t.  
But frankly, he didn’t care.

He opens the door and sees Sergio for the first time, and he looks exactly like he expected.  
Dark, slightly curly hair, a cute nose and glasses.  
Slim and slightly taller than him.  
He looks very polite.  
Just the look at him triggered Martín.  
He was wearing a jacket and loose pants, holding books in one arm and holding a rolled paper in another. The kind of that looks like portraits you buy in an Asian country.  
Martín grins.

“May I come in?” He asks politely after a short moment of Martín simply staring at him.  
Martín doesn’t say anything. He simply opes the door more.  
He looks exactly like he thought he was going to, its scary. As if he has seen him somewhere already.  
“It’s alright.” Sergio says quietly, walking through the door. He puts his stuff on the bed.  
“Want a drink?” Martín asks, grabbing a milk from fridge.  
Sergio can hear upbeat music playing in the backround.  
Martín pours himself a glass of milk and drinks it almost in one sip.  
He looks at him and goes: “The job was amazing. I’m glad youre alive.”  
“Thanks.”  
“However, if you stay inside, hidden like a rat, your chance of survival increase.”  
Sergio simply nods his head.  
“I was the most exposed during the job-“  
“No, don’t bullshit me.” Martín snaps. “Whoever faces the bullets is the most exposed. How many times have you been shot at?”  
“Im not here to argue.” Sergio says.  
“Quite frankly, I couldn’t care less why youre here.” Martín says. He knows that’s a lie. Hes the reason he went to Madrid. “A half an year later and youre here. So I’ll tell you why you didn’t go into the Mint-“ He stops for a moment, as if he was going to take a sip. Instead, he gets closer too him.  
“Because you’re a coward.”  
Sergio just stares at him.  
“And because…” His breath sharpens. “You had him to do the dirty work. Your brother.”  
“A job always involves incidents, you know that.”  
“Incidents?” He gets triggered. “Let me be very clear. You didn’t go in, and a third of your group died, hijo de puta.”  
“A third of your group died and you did nothing, for fucks sake!”  
“Im as sorry as you are-“  
Martín doesn’t let him finish. His grip around the glass tightens and he throws it onto the wall.  
Sergio watches the glass break and the milk spread all around the wall.  
“What the fuck are you sorry for, you hijo de puta?!” Martín’s anger had to get out. He starts trashing the room. He throw offs the table, then two chairs, a vase with real fowers and water in it.

He is furious.

He furiously wipes off the milk from his mouth into his sleeve.  
“If it had been me, Andrés wouldn’t be dead!” His voice breaks as hes screaming as loud as he can. His accent is now clearer than ever, but he doesn’t care.  
He looks at him desperately and Sergio looks down at the floor.  
“I’d have gone in and gotten him out! No matter the fucking cost!” He screams so loud that the whole city must have heard it. “Even if I had to blow up the whole fucking building, I don’t care! I wouldn’t let him die, but you did!”  
“Who the fuck do you think youre talking to, one of these fools from your group? I know you well, Sergio, just by looking at you. I know what youre like. He was my friend.” He gets even closer to him.  
“Someone indispensable to me. He was my other half. Look into my eyes, and tell me you never considered that. That, if need be, he would let himself be killed. Tell me, you hijo de puta, when thought the plan out, you never considered your brothers death.”  
Sergio just continues staring into his eyes. He feels tears getting into his eyes.

“Hm?”  
“I didn’t consider my brothers death. Not once, because…”  
Martín just stares at him unbelievably.  
Sergio takes a deep breath. “Because… listen, Martín. He had nothing to lose.”  
“Are you fucking kidding me, you selfish bitch?”  
“Let me finish. He had Helmer’s empbryopathy.”  
“How the fuck am I supposed to know what it means?”  
“It’s a illness that cant be cured. Hes got it from our mom, but I don’t have it. Its an illness where your muscles are dying more and more until your heart is too weak to work. It was around his time. He got about an year or two left to live.”  
Martín keeps quiet.

“If he actually had it, he would have told me. Do you think Im going to believe you?”  
“He tried his best to keep it a secret. He didn’t even tell me until my mom did. He didn’t want to seem vulnerable, he hated that, you know that. Even when he was in prison, he would hid the medication in his butt when they were checking him so no one would find out.  
Im really sorry Martín.”  
“That doesnt prove anything.”  
Sergio reached for his books and took out a paper from a one.  
“Here are the statements of purchase from a pharmacy three days before the heist. The medication is used for the illness. You can find it on the internet. It’s a russian medication.”  
Martín deeply gazes into his eyes, trying to figure out whether he’s lying or not.  
“Alright. I believe you.” He calms down. “I just cant understand why he didn’t tell me.”  
“I thought that for a long time too.”  
Martín cries and hugs Sergio.  
“He was my life.”  
The music stops playing.

He touches his face.  
“I’m sorry, really, its not your fault. It wasn’t your fault.”  
Sergio shakes his head in agreement. Martín notices that his face is red and in tears too.  
Sergio grabs his face too.  
“How are you?” He asks him.  
Such a lame question, but it showed that he cared.  
Martín tries not to cry. “Alright.”  
“Hanging around with Johnie Walker… sucking down pills… eating canned food… Im alright. I found the formula. La musíca.” He says and points at the jukebox.  
“Have you locked yourself up and have been listening to music the whole time?” Sergio asks and laughs lightly.  
He doesn’t get an answer.  
Instead of answering, Martín plays “Who can it be” by Men’s at work and starts jamming into the music.  
“I can listen to music from my youth and I can travel there. To the shabbiest music bars of Buenos Aires. I dance and swing like before…” He starts dancing, showing of his little dances.

Martín always sucked at dancing, but Sergio was worse. The actually one decent person at this puzzle was Andrés. But he was no longer here to teach them, so they had to learn on their own.

“Dance with me.”  
Sergio smiles, knowing that’s very bad idea.  
“Cmon, don’t be an ass, dance!”  
So he joins him. 

“Try this.” Martín says, waving his arms around. Sergio tries to mimick the move, failing miserably, because he was too shy. Martín thought it was cute.  
Then Martín stops. 

“Why are you here, really?”  
“To ask your permission.”  
Martín laughs, as he knows what its going to be about. He had felt this intuition about this a half an year ago already.  
“Im going to steal the gold.”  
Martín intuition was right. It never fails.  
“I’d tell you its in m brothers memory, but… the truth is… I think he is alive.”  
Martín stops. His heart does too.

Is this real?

“Also… the truth is… I need to do it. And Im not doing it without you.”  
Martín laughs and grabs Sergios hand, the other he puts around his waist. He dances with him like Sergio would with his wife, Raquel.  
Their faces are really close now, and its making Sergio uncomfortable, because he has a dark suspicion Martín might as well kiss him passionately from the excitement, because he looked at his lips for a while.  
So he smiles through the pain.  
But he doesn’t do it, instead, he hugs Sergio once again.

“So where is your brother?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading! please leave a comment 🤍  
> aaand im sorry for this chapter being shorter and sorta boring, next one will be better!  
> also does anyone know why ao3 doesnt want the format here to show n the way I wrote it in document microsoft word? like with italic text and carets... please let me know!!


	3. Chapter 03

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They didn’t even go to the city as much. Well, they did, but they mostly spent their time drinking red wine, or even making out.  
> Martín didn’t understand, where all that passionate need to kiss him, where all that came from? It didn’t suit Andrés.
> 
> Until that one evening, when they were sipping on wine, cuddled in bed outside in a blanket together, watching the stars.
> 
> “Martín?”  
> “Yes, dear?”  
> “I love you.”
> 
> It was the most honest “I love you” Martín has ever gotten in his life.
> 
> He leans back to him and gives him a passionate kiss.  
> “I love you more than I can say.”  
> Andrés wants to smile as big as he normally would, but he struggles. Its too painful.  
> So he just smiles a little, and Martín notices that.
> 
> “Listen, Martín… I feel like my time over in this planet is very close now and…”  
> He pauses, deeply gazing into his eyes.  
> “And I feel like the truth has to be heard now.”

❣three “Lo siento mucho Martín ... adiós.“

Martín finishes his glass and places it on the table, which he had put in a regular position.  
The room is still trashed though.  
He puts the chairs as well and sits on one of them, inviting Sergio to sit on the other.

A normal person would probably feel unconfortable or even bad sitting in such a room, that they trashed in front of a person couple minutes ago when they were furious.  
Martín didnt, he was so chill about it.  
But that’s exactly what everyone expected.

Martín puts his casual gaze on Sergio for a little too long.  
Sergio feels very unconfortamble now.  
“So?” Martín asks, with his gaze full of interest, hitting on the fact that Sergio has said that Andrés might be alive and still not said anything more about it.

Sergio gulps and opens his mouth slightly, as if he was about to say something, but he closes it again.  
It leaves Martín heavily confused.  
“You don’t have anything to say? Don’t test me.” Martín says, and it comes off harsher than he wanted it to.  
“No, no no-“ Sergio quickly interrupts, clearly on the verge of true panic.  
He pauses.  
“I just don’t know where to start.”

Martín is starting to be annoyed, and Sergio noticed that.  
He doesn’t want to trigger him again, he has successfully done that once and once was enough.  
Forreal, he was scared that he might even throw one of his own books on him.

“He wrote me a letter. Saying that he can’t write me any more of them because its too dangerous for him. That he is safe. That he shouldn’t try looking for me, or he’ll get him killed. At first I thought it was just a fake letter, or a letter from the police to me let him torture with peace without my interruptions.”  
Martín doesn’t say anything. He lets him continue talking.  
“But then, about a month after another letter came. Coming from the same anonymous sender. I kind of felt it. A strong feeling of simply being sure that it is truly him. I know these. They always work for me. Well, in the letter he wrote me –“ He pauses, stands up and goes for his book, in which from he takes a letter. “I have it here. You can read it if you want.”

Martín quickly grabs it without a single hesitation.

_Dear brother Sergio,  
It’s me, Andrés again._

_Listen, I am not being tortured. I realized it might have seemed like that from the last letter I wrote. I just really needed you to stay calm and not to do dumb decisions.  
However, I was and still am intensely searched by the police, because I managed to escape a different way during the shooting and leave them thinking I died during the attempt.  
But after a week they opened the case again and probably hired a different person that was, obviously, smarter than the before and these fuckers nearly found me.  
It was so close, so close my brother.  
I cant tell you where I am right now. I am sorry.  
I can literally feel how desperately you want to find me and rescue me.  
Well, stop trying.  
I am fine. Almost. As long as they don’t find me.  
Stop sending letters. I know how to get to you without being killed, but its difficult. But your attempts to help me will make it worse.  
It will take time, you know that.  
But I will do anything to get to you.  
I feel worse than before, Sergio. My hand shakes even more when I try to hold a gun.  
My muscles hurt way too much when I run.  
My heart is beating too fast. I’ve never had anxiety, but now it feels like I have a one.  
It’s not far… the thing you’re fearing the most.  
But you know… its been five years since the doctors told me I have about five years left to live.   
And here I am, still alive, and I will be.  
I’ll try to be.  
See you as soon as poss… I hope._

_I love you.  
Andrés_

Martín felt tears creating at the first couple of sentences.  
He could literally hear him thinking that while writing.  
It hurt too much, even though there was a hope.  
But a very small one.

He bursted out crying in the middle.  
And was fully on the verge of internally dying at the end.  
He was crying so bad.  
He felt so ashamed of himself for crying.  
“I’m sorry… a man shouldn’t cry like me. I’m not feminine.”  
Sergio pulls him into a tight hug.  
“Its okay to cry,” He says quietly, stroking his hair lightly. “I cried too.”

It feels so good to be hugged like that to Martín.  
He hasn’t felt that in months.  
And he desperately needed it.

“Thank you, Sergio. For everything.” Martín says and grabs his cheeks.  
Sergio stays quiet. He doesn’t need to say anything. Martín can feel what he would say if he did.

They stay like that for a while, simply hugging and stroking each others hair.  
It feels so… strange. Especially to Martín. But natural at same time.  
Martín thinks its strange because he’s known this man for about ten minutes but it feels like he knows him for more than ten years.  
Sergio thinks the same.  
Martín has never been this emotionally close to a man in years.  
It has never felt so good to hug someone.

“Thank you too, Martín.”

Martín pulls off the hug and wipes off his tears into his other sleeve.  
He takes a deep breath.  
“Did you text him back?”  
“Yes, I did. Saying that he needs to tell me whether he likes it or not. That I can’t be waiting doing nothing while he is on the verge of dying.” Sergio pauses.  
“He hasn’t texted back yet.”  
“How long has it been since?”  
“Almost three months now.” Sergio sighs. “I knew he was gonna be a pain about it. But we won’t go easy on him, will we?”  
“Damn yes we won’t!” Martín shakes his head in agreement.  
“I’ve already done some digging. By my best guess he is in some Balkan country. Albania, most likely, because the police there is not exactly… perfect?  
But where he is exactly – I have no idea.”

Martín nods. At least something.  
“I’ve done everything I could, Martín. If he doesn’t respond, we won’t reach him.” Sergio looks down at the table.  
“He will. You’ll see.”  
“And well, besides, I should show you the plan, that is remotely similar to your original version, but I’ve changed some stuff.” Sergio puts pressure on the word yours and smiles. He reaches for the Asian-looking-art-roll-of-paper.  
He opens it and puts it on the table.  
“This is the drawing of the inside of the building. Here is the main intrance…”

Sergio keeps on talking and Martín tries his best to give him all the attention he’s got.  
He is for sure going to sleep after he leaves.

  
And he did.  
He slept most of the day, actually, just got up to go to the city to grab some food when it was about foodtime. He slept so much because at nights he usually has insomnia. Because of Andrés.  
Martín feels like the cause of every single one of his problems was because of Andrés, but he loved him anyway.

So when around three AM in the morning Sergio was calling him, he wasn’t asleep.  
And before he picked up the phone, he was wondering why Sergio wasn’t either.  
It was very unlike of him.  
Martín gets a small wave of hope and picks up the phone.  
“Hello?” He nearly schouts into the phone.  
“Um, this is me, Sergio. Are you alright?”  
Martín pauses. He guesses that he is… okay?  
“Yes, I’m fine. Why are you calling?” He rushes to say it and he says it ina one big blur.  
Its almost a miracle that Sergio understood what he said. On the other hand, maybe not so much, Spanish people talk like this all the time.  
“Um… you were right.”  
“About what?”  
“Another letter came today when I was checking my mailbox.”  
“Are you freaking kidding?” Martín says with a mix of passion and excitement. “What do I do?”  
“Come to by flat ASAP. Dress normally, but not too obvious. Bring some money and pack some of your stuff. We’re going on a trip.”

Martín frozen as he’s listening to Sergio.  
They’re going to rescue Andrés!

Sergio manages to tell him his address (which is luckily quite close) before Martín hangs up.

Martín is now the one knocking at someone else’s door.  
He hasn’t done this in a long time, and as weird as it sounds, he kinda missed it.

Sergio opens the door immediately, like if hes waiting by the door for him to come, which as Martín thinks that that would be typical of him.  
He can see his wife, Raquel, behind him.  
“Hello.” He says as he puts on his casual gaze.  
“Hey. You must be Martín. Martín Berrote right?”  
“Yeah.”  
“My name is Raquel.”

Sergio closes the door and invites Martín (Raquel following them) to the living room.  
The two sit down as Sergio brings a plate with a kettle of tea and three cups.  
“Its black tea with a little bit of milk and honey, I hope you’re alright with that.” Sergio says and watches Martín’s reaction.  
Martín didn’t mind, he actually liked that.  
Andrés loved black tea. Black coffee too. Black fashion. Dark stories. Basically black everything.  
Besides, Martín always wanted to try and find out why Andrés loved it so much.  
He takes a small sip and tries his best not to let his face turn into a very ugly expression.  
It was very much indeed stronger than he expected it to. And it was quite bitter.  
Martín didn’t understand why Andrés loved it so much.

But as he was slowly drinking more and more of this magical tea, he began to understand.  
That bitter taste turned into a sweet one as the tea gave him a powerful, calm feeling mixed with pure bliss.  
This is why Andrés used to have so much energy in the morning, he thought.  
He finally found the answer to a long unanswered question.

He turned back to Sergio as he started speaking again.  
When Raquel was, to be honest, he didn’t really pay attention.  
He was too tired to unnecessary waste energy.  
“So… here’s the letter.” Sergio says, handling the letter over to Martín.

_Dear brother Sergio,  
I am indeed sorry._

_I know you must have thought I was never going to text you back, and, to be honest, that’s what I thought too.  
But things got complicated.  
Lemme say this like this: I either ask for your help and die trying, or I buy a ticket right into hell.  
Not much of a choice, right?  
I am in Albania, Tirana.  
Its not that far, but I didn’t even want to get more further.  
I thought staying here would be smart, because the police here is literally stupid.  
But honestly, that is what everyone expected, considering the fact that here in Albania you have to work more hours so that you can become a manicourist than a police offesor.  
Except that I didn’t expect them to hire someone else.  
Again.  
These sneaky people!  
Of course not Albanian. They speak English, fluently, although I still cant figure out which country they are from.  
But I guess that wont matter to me if they catch me, right?_

_Sergio, I AM SORRY once again.  
It was not cool, to act like a teenager in his teenage angst trying to be so quirky and everything.  
That is not my style. I don’t need to pretend that I am cool. I already am.  
I am currently hiding at my best hiding spot and I will stay here until you find me, I swear.  
I’ve been paying with all my remaining money an old guy called Dervishi, that owns a wine bar, and I am hiding here in the cellar. Drinking wine instead of eating or sleeping.   
The wine bar is called Verë e mirë, which means Good wine in Albanian.  
Its like the worst one in the whole Tirana, but less people will come in here = less danger.  
Come here as fast as possible.  
They’ll find me. Maybe kill me.  
Please Sergio, use your brain and your precious ideas.  
I know I fucked up multiple times, but now I’m begging you, its your time to shine._

_Save me._

_With love,  
Andrés_

This was the first time in years that Martín saw Andrés this vulnerable.  
Literally begging for help.  
It was kind of funny – the only thing Andrés would always say he’d never do.  
Guess that has changed.

Sergio starts explaining the plan to the small details.   
We had a plan B almost to every plan A – which was kind of ironic, since having a plan B makes plan A most likely less to work.

But that’s just Sergio, right.

The main idea was to get to Andrés fast, but also not risking the lives of them and the rest of the team.  
Sergio was pissed. He was pissed that everything wasn’t going as he wanted it to.  
The way he imagined it, he would be hidden with the new team studying the new plan and getting ready for action.  
Instead, now, he was risking everything.  
Well, not everything. Not his loved wife Raquel.  
He couldn’t take her with him. He cant risk that, no matter how much effort she put into persuading him, she failed.  
She instisted onto tracing our movement and making sure everything was under control.

After she heard the whole plan she understood why it was better for her to stay – not only safer, but it also made much more sense. And she was satisfied with the role of what she got.

Even when Andrés acted like Albania was close, it seemed pretty damn far to Martín.  
Both him and Sergio couldn’t understand how he got there so fast. There is no way… unless…

“What if he went by a private plane from a small private airport? After all, he got enough money for that.” Martín says his thoughts out loud.  
“Well, that’s obvious.” Raquel snaps.

Martín instantly knew from the moment he met her that he dislikes her.  
The same feeling he got from meeting Tokyo.  
The female ones that he doesn’t like, however, has no other choice but to work with them.  
That’s just the way it is sometimes.

“No Raquel, we don’t know that for sure.” Sergio snap backs at Raquel. “Besides, I planted that thought in your head.” He grins and squeezes her shoulder, not enough to hurt but it did send a message. That she shouldn’t mess with Martín just because he doesn’t like her right from the start. That is rare with Martín, everybody knew that.

Martín appreciates him messing with such a bitch for him.   
  


Raquel keeps her mouth shut for the rest of the talking, obviously triggered.

Martín decides not to give attention to her and focus on more important things,   
like saving his soulmate.

Martín likes Sergio’s plan. Its quite smart and it can be effective if done correctly.  
But things can always go to shit in a matter of seconds.   
He knew that well.

“Sergio, I like plan and all, but if Andrés could travel by a personal plane, why cant we? Its not like the money is the limitation, at least not for you.”

Sergio tries his best not to show the instant thought that popped up in his head when Martín finished the sentence. “You really do show a lack of intelligence. I guess that’s what the alcohol has done to you, not being able to use your head properly.” Was the exact wording of is thought.  
But Sergio would never say that outloud, even he would be furious. Its too much for his liking and he feels bad even for creating that thought.

Sergio breaths in.

  
“We cant, because the owners most likely agreed to Andrés travelling when the police still believed he was dead, that he faked his own death for his personal reasons.  
But know since its proven by the police that he is alive, they wouldn’t ever agree to work with him again, because that is too dangerous for them and not worth it. That’s most likely why he cant travel back on his own, since his prediction was most likely that they were going to say that he’s dead and call it a day, so he could travel back. But that didn’t happen.”

Martín just stares at him and feels embarrassed for sounding stupid.  
Everything that Sergio said has its logical explanation and Martín was certain that it might actually be the reality.

He shakes his head simply in agreement.  
“So I’ll see you tomorrow at the meeting point.”eHe

_The next day_

Martín is standing next to the train stop sign, a little earlier than he should, but it doesn’t matter.

Way better than the opposite.  
He soon sees in the corner of his eye a erson getting closer to him, even from far already knowing its Sergio.

He greetes him.

They wait together for the train to come, which luckily came on time.  
And they spent rest of the day travelling.  
For Sergio it was alright, he spent the time read and thinking out the smallest details.  
For Martín, it was a pure disaster. He couldn’t stop being anxious and worried sick.  
It didn’t suit neither him or his gay aesthetic, it was also extremely uncomfortable.  
He hated it.  
Martín has experiences that when he hates something to the point where he cant even stand it it usually goes or fades away, but it didn’t work with his anxiety. It never did.  
At least he will lose some weight, he thought. The only positive thing about it.  
  


The next days look and are spent the same.  
It makes Martín very irritated, but he knows its worth it.  
He’s not going to let his love of his life die as a outlaw in a shabby wine cellar.  
No, he just cant let that happen.

Also the trains were expensive. The tickets, to be exact, since it’s a personal train, not checked by the police, and not everybody likes to help criminals and do risky businesses with them, so its also quite rare. Martín definitely should be glad that Sergio found with the help of Rio an acceptable way to get to the destination, which is mostly by train, by ships as well and also some walking.

It wasn’t easy.  
The route was so tiring, that even Sergio on the fifth day started being quite triggered (while Martín obviously being super mean to everybody he could).  
  


But it was so worth it.  
So, so so worth it.

Martín wished Andrés could see his own expression when he saw him.  
Andrés, sitting on a wooden chair, that looked very unconfortamble, dressed up in little loose black clothing as usual.  
His face, that at first showed a serious lack of emotions and empathy, after seeing Martín changed completely. A big, bright smile appears on his smile and he tries to get up, unfortunately a little bit too fast, and he stumbles a little bit. That’s what only Sergio standing near to Martín notices, because Martín was too busy staring into those beautiful dark eyes.

Andrés plulls him into a tight hug and strokes his hair. Martín instead of his usual peck on the cheek he gives him a short passionate kiss on the lips.  
Andrés doesn’t mind. He seemed to like it.

Sergio is just standing there, staring at them. He decided to let Martín go greet him first.

Andrés soon pulls from the hug and he feels his arms get way heavier. He tries his best not to show it when he is hugging now Sergio.

But Sergio isn’t lost in his eyes like Martín, ignoring everything else.  
He feels that something is happening, even when Andrés doesn’t want to say it.  
“Are you alright, brother?” He asks him, hiccupping his face in his hands.  
A small face across his face appears as he feels the warmth of his brothers hands.  
“Im okay.”  
“No, for real Andrés. Now its not the right time to play heroes. I was so worried about you. I thought we weren’t going to make it on time.” His voice breaks.  
“I’m so glad you did, brother.” Andrés pauses for a moment, his breath sharpens.  
“Youre right, Sergio. I am not okay. My heart is beating too quickly and everything hurts.” Andrés tries his best to keep his voice silky and deep, but it comes off sounding a little hopeless. Because that’s exactly how Andrés felt. Hopeless.

There is nothing that anyone can do for him to prevent it.  
Nothing.

As Andrés watches them both talking, he soon realizes, that is was meant to be.  
This was meant to be happening.  
He had a lot of questions in his head, and he wasn’t sure about so many of them, it was annoying.  
But there was one thing he knew for sure.  
He needed it to happen.

“Martín,…” He interrupts his talking. He gets closer to him and lays his hands on his arms.  
“Can I ask you a favor?”

“Yes. Anything.”  
“Take me to Berlin. That’s the city where I want to be leaving this planet. I need to get there.” He beggs.

There is so much sadness and emptiness in his voice now, but when he mentioned Berlin, he felt him being alive again. It’s the last thing he can do for him.

Of course, its not easy. He doesn’t want him passing away in the middle of the way.  
But that was not gonna happen. Theyre going to make it.  
Its meant to be.

“I will do anything to get you there.” Martín says without thinking.   
Andrés smiles brightly again and pulls him into a hug.  
“That is all I want now. You, Berlín and a bottle of red wine.” He says as he’s grabbing a bottle and putting it in handpack, his hand shaking under the weight of the bottle. He nearly drops it.

  
Sergio feels like being betrayed at this point.  
“And of course, you, my little brother Sergio.” Andrés smiles at him, staring into his soul with joy.  
“Please don’t get offended. I appreciate everything you’ve done for me. Thank you for saving me.”

Sergio smiles.  
“Thank you for still… being with us.”

Andrés touches his cheek.  
“Will you let me go to see my favorite place on Earth, for the last time?”

As if that was even a real question.  
Of course he was. Besides, Berlín is where it all started…  
And Andrés really wanted to go.

He shakes his head in agreement.  
“Yes, you love the city endlessly. How could I not?”

He looks at Martín. He feels like he can trust him.  
Martín would literally die for Andrés. He was going to take good care of him, as long as he can.  
He smiles at him.  
He smiles at him back.

_The next week, Berlín_

Martín was very worried about them not making on time, since, as you could expect, Andrés was still searched by the police and going quickly but not being noticed is extremely hard, but both of them put their best effort into it.  
The had to use all the unknown roads, begging people to stop with their cars, showing Andrés’ vibration to show that he is sick, and them taking to the point where they needed.

But it wasn’t always easy. Sometimes people would recognize who Andrés is, and then were two options how this situation was going to turn out.  
Either they just gave them a lot of money not to call the police,  
Or, they gave them lots of money and they called the police anyway.  
These were the tough moments, where they had to escape and run for their lives, hiding somewhere like rats.

But it turned out okay in the end.  
Martín believes that everything has to be okay in the end, either its not an end.

And they managed to reach Berlín on time.  
They spent the time in the streets.  
It was very not safe, but it was the reason they were there.  
Andrés showed Martín all of his favorite places, such as a theater, a cafeteria with the best black tea, or even a cute park.

Martín felt Andrés being the happiest he’s ever been in his whole life.  
He was literally vibrating positive vibes. He couldn’t stop smiling.  
Martín couldn’t either.  
It was all so worth it.  
Martín was proud of both of them.  
  


Besides, he now understood why Andrés loved the city so much.  
He says, that this is the city where it all started. He never explained him what, but Martín seemed to understand.

The city suits him so much. The dark, yet bright elegance, the beautiful streets, the beauty in every corner. Yet such a dark, terrible history, the city was hiding a lot of wrong things.  
Exactly Andrés.

It was after a couple of days that Andrés was so tired that he couldn’t walk on his own anymore, so Martín got him a wheelchair.  
They didn’t even go to the city as much. Well, they did, but they mostly spent their time drinking red wine, or even making out.  
Martín didn’t understand, where all that passionate need to kiss him, where all that came from? It didn’t suit Andrés.

Until that one evening, when they were sipping on wine, cuddled in bed outside in a blanket together, watching the stars.

“Martín?”  
“Yes, dear?”  
“I love you.”

It was the most honest “I love you” Martín has ever gotten in his life.

He leans back to him and gives him a passionate kiss.

“I love you more than I can say.”  
Andrés wants to smile as big as he normally would, but he struggles. Its too painful.

So he just smiles a little, and Martín notices that.

“Listen, Martín… I feel like my time over in this planet is very close now and…”  
He pauses, deeply gazing into his eyes.  
“And I feel like the truth has to be heard now.”

He grabs his cheeks.  
“Martín I’ve… Ive loved you my whole life. From the moment I saw you. And not like a friend, not like a soulmate. Like a lover. Soulmate too, but lover is stronger.”

Martín is speechless.  
Is this actually happening?

“Ive never loved any of these women. I only loved the sex, I never felt any emotions towards them.   
I guess I was only interested in men, but I hated that idea. I could never allow myself to be that, I hated it so so much, I was so embarrassed.”  
“Andrés-“

Andrés interrupts him. He knew what he would ask. That why didn’t he tell him sooner.  
“Martín, now believe me deeply when I say, that you are the love of my time.”

Martín just stares into his eyes that are filled with love and confidence.

He just cant understand.  
This whole time Andrés was lying? He actually loved him back and he never told him until now!  
He was so mad and so satisfied at the same time. He didn’t know what to feel.  
“Andrés… thank you so much for being open with me.”

Andrés doesn’t say anything, just leans in and kisses him with hunger, like a teenager whose crush just told them that they loved them back.  
  


The hungry and fast tempo of the kiss slowly turned into a slow, elegent one.  
That was Andrés’ style. He could hear him practically purr into the kiss.  
His hand railed all over Martíns chest until Andrés got too tired and he leaned away from the kiss, breathing heavily.

Martín wanted so much more.  
He knew Andrés wanted too, but he couldn’t. He was too weak.

“Im so sorry Martín for not telling you earlier. Youre right. I am coward.”  
“No, youre not. Youre brave for telling me, no matter the time.”  
“I love you.”  
“I love you too.”

They stay just like that, cuddling, sipping on wine and watching the stars for a long time.

Andrés’ breathing wouldn’t stop being fast as if he was running.

Martín rails his hand over his body and stops at his heart.  
It was beautiful very slowly, skipping beats.  
“Are you okay, Andrés?”

“I- I cant breathe, Martín.” He manages to say with short breaks.  
“Martín… I love you. I’m so sorry… goodbye.”  
“I love you, and I always will. I will never forget you Andrés.” Martín puts his hands on his cheeks.

Andrés has to close his eyes, its too tiring.

And then they both felt it.  
Andrés’ life slowly fading away, after his heart stopped beating at all.

He died.

And somehow, Martín’s love for him seemed be fading away too.  
Martín always thought that after Andrés’ death his feelings were going to be even worse and more intense. But he was wrong. They were fading away, just like Andrés life did.

He died.

Martín could never do anything to prevent it.  
But now, he knew the truth. Andrés died where he wished to. He spent his last dies in his favorite place with his favorite person.

It was meant to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guys!  
> im so sorry for this chapter taking so long to come out. im on a vacation and i dont have much time to write, and i put my best effort into this chapter since its a a last one!  
> but dont worry, more fics abou these two will come because i love them!  
> also, please dont hate about the travelling parts. i dont have any experience how this stuff works, how you travel while being searched by without being caught etc and i dont want to write about stuff that i dont know about and thats why i skipped this part! thanks for understanding.  
> see you at the next fic! ❣

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, thanks for reading!  
> Please leave a comment <3


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